fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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