No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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