im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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