What did we do last night that was yellow?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The cops high fived after they tackled you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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