Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
