I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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