i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
