new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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