Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
