We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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