I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
