bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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