I think I won the penis lottery.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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