Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
