If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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