there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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