just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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