After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
