I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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