She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
