if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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