we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
