The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
