Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
