isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...