Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?