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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Wtf? What happened?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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• (760): View more from California

  You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here

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• (415): View more from California

  I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  Dreams are coming true for both of us.

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• 

  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!

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• (415): View more from California

  HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo

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