Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe. (1-814): compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible. http://tfl.nu/koli
  Replies (16) Good night (898) Bad night (3915)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  operation "beaches make me wet" is a go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): operation "beaches make me wet" is a go http://tfl.nu/4jca
  Replies (3) Good night (3272) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/2ce1
  Replies (24) Good night (1990) Bad night (9735)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/ax9s
  Replies (13) Good night (4296) Bad night (1835)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework http://tfl.nu/3cov
  Replies (12) Good night (5036) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf
  Replies (9) Good night (758) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems http://tfl.nu/ja9t
  Replies (13) Good night (3493) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence http://tfl.nu/e5a5
  Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener? http://tfl.nu/3402
  Replies (3) Good night (1317) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right? http://tfl.nu/xxfc
  Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!! http://tfl.nu/1fo4
  Replies (7) Good night (416) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out. (1-702): If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week. http://tfl.nu/ued1
  Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things. http://tfl.nu/ocj8
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida http://tfl.nu/cyih
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god http://tfl.nu/si6s
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (258)

Randomize