Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do http://tfl.nu/8eef
  Replies (10) Good night (3350) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while. http://tfl.nu/9oye
  Replies (8) Good night (3984) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1926) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea http://tfl.nu/bucj
  Replies (8) Good night (1472) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die. http://tfl.nu/gg2b
  Replies (15) Good night (615) Bad night (1916)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me. http://tfl.nu/wgik
  Replies (2) Good night (1061) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom. http://tfl.nu/gcg6
  Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high. http://tfl.nu/rams
  Replies (0) Good night (982) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like. http://tfl.nu/70wr
  Replies (14) Good night (777) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists. http://tfl.nu/e9b4
  Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy http://tfl.nu/58yw
  Replies (15) Good night (1433) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you. http://tfl.nu/kfw2
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite http://tfl.nu/pmot
  Replies (7) Good night (584) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP. http://tfl.nu/d9id
  Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (984): View more from North Carolina

  I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (984): I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal? http://tfl.nu/izvy
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (252)

Randomize