Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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