I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you win again, gameday.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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