oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
