I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Found the puke drawer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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