Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize