So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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