At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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