There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
