I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
