Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize