How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
