okay pat passed out under dana's car
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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