Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
