I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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