Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
