You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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