Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
