The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
