I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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