Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
