Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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