Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
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I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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