It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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