Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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