I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
