He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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