The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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