this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
