matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
