we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
