If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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