you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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