I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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