Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
